Darlene Warren's column this month contains her comments after reading an advertisement that appeared in the Nov. 30, 2000, issue of Connections, page 10, titled "Open Letter: Women's Role."

Darlene's column: Keeping Satan down for the count

By Darlene Warren

BIG SANDY, Texas--The Journal, never fearing to address the really critical issues of our day, is constantly doing its part to enlighten the brotherhood. Remember our series on the Nature of God? Old Covenant vs. New Covenant? Whether the Bible reveals a sacred calendar for man's use today or not?

Last month's Connections (The Journal's advertising section) contained an article (in the form of an advertisement) different from all the rest. It caught my attention, and I found myself so intrigued I was unable to put the paper down until I had read the entire piece. The magnitude of the author's words are with me still.

I'm a changed woman. My greatest regret is that my mind wasn't opened to this newfound knowledge until after election day. By casting my vote for the candidate of my choice, I unknowingly gave innumerable women the right to "desert, leave, abandon, and divorce" their husbands and children. (That right should be reserved for the men.)

Nor was I aware that I wasn't married to a real man. He looks like a real man; he acts like a real man; he even feels like a real man. But that's how Satan works. He's so deceptive. (Note to self: Shore up John so he'll feel like a real man.)

Call me stupid, but I didn't even know little boys were being "looked down upon."

I say a sin of omission is just as evil as a sin of commission. This information calls for drastic measures. We must turn the tide on this trend before it is too late. Everyone must start looking down on little girls if we intend to save society. I was blind, but now I see. Satan had me by the throat--shaking, shaking, shaking.

Thankfully, my eyes have been opened and I was able to jack-slap Satan and wrestle him to the ground. (I've always been a good wrestler due to my low center of gravity.) God granted us women ways to combat Satan, but in so doing He also granted us a much higher percentage of fat compared with men. Hey, what's more important?

I'm sure John would rather be in charge and married to a lady wrestler than be married to someone "marinated" in the obsession "to always look pretty."

Who says God is not fair? God knew we women would let emotion and not logic rule our every decision. That's why we aren't supposed to make any. It is all clear when you stop and think about it.

I've had it wrong all these years. I can't believe I didn't see it before now. I've been sitting in the back row at church for years because that's where I like to sit. That attitude is so self-centered. It's rotten to the core. I should've been sitting there because that's where I belong. I should be thankful I'm even allowed to come to church.

Ladies, we would have seen this coming if we hadn't been so intent on being the head of our family. I think the problem sprang up sometime around the early '70s when the liberal faction of the church began to emerge. (Ambassador College, Big Sandy, was a hub of subversive activity.) It was subtle, but remember when we starting wearing makeup and front-zipped pants? Mmm-hmm.

We, the weaker vessel, must bear the responsibility for society's ills. Only the man is capable of making commonsense decisions and judgments. After all, God created the man in His image, not the woman. If we don't allow men to lead us, we could be held responsible for the collapse of this world's society as we know it. Do we want that on our plate?

There is absolutely no time to spare. Where do we get off thinking God cared as much for us as He did the man, that we might actually assume a position equal to the man in God's Holy Kingdom?

I seem to recall something along the lines of a doorkeeper being mentioned in Scripture as the lowest possible position. I beg to differ. I'm sure God could find a position for some of us women to protect His front gates. After all, Satan wouldn't dare argue with a low-centered, jack-slapping female.

It's just the way she's made.

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